Self-Compassion as a Path Home to Belonging
One of the great benefits of helping other people heal is that I get to witness the potency of compassion.
A person shared with me a moment that had haunted her for decades. It was a circumstance where she not able to help a vulnerable person she loved. Since trauma is not in the event, it is in the body until it is resolved, then it does not matter that this moment was over 40 years ago. She was endlessly looping in empathy, which is sensing the state of another. If the person we are sensing is in a state of distress then through our mirror neurons, we feel distress. I suggested she move from empathy to compassion.
Compassion is empathy + taking action to help (which can be sending our loving prayer).
When we act from the desire to relieve suffering, we have moved from a passive state to an action state. The looping emotion was feeling helpless. I suggested, “Would you like to say the soothing prayer that you would have said to your person, had you been able to at the time, while I will sing caring to you.”
I sang while she sent prayers of her love, reassurance, and kindness. The transformation was beyond what I had even hoped. She immediately had a new enlivening image of delivering her love.
Taking this to the next level is delivering this love to ourselves. Can we include ourselves in the circle of people who need kind words? A self-critical voice is motivated by threat, a self-compassionate voice is motivated by safety. Pay attention to what is helpful.
Organize your mind around compassionate self-talk and you will see benefits to your motivation, and your physical health. It will ripple out and add warmth in your relationship. Feeling connected to ourselves opens the door to feeling connected to others. Connection is the thread that weaves social belonging.
When we have walked the long road to feeling compassion and belonging in our body, we are ready to take our next steps that uplifts human kindness.
May your self-compassion help you deepen your self-connection.
Kindly, Robin
this is such a beautiful way of bringing ourselves back to wholeness……for me as a traumatized baby ( 73 years ago) it speaks of a deep loving kindness which i have been far more able to give into the world than to give to myself . It’s been a work in progress for a long time and your words just say it do perfectly. Thank you so much!