Uncategorized
When Love Was Missing, We Learned to Blame Ourselves
Self-Criticism as a Trauma Memory This post explores how neglect and abandonment in childhood can become the root of high self-criticism in adulthood. Restoring self-esteem, dignity, and confidence begins with realizing that many of our thoughts about ourselves are actually memories of traumatic neglect and abandonment. Seeing the Inner Critic as a Memory, Not a…
Read MoreWhy Reciprocity Matters: Growing the Capacity for Love in a Hurting World
Over Dependence: The Cost of Disowning the Self When love was modeled through enmeshment or boundary violations, we may have learned to earn care by abandoning ourselves.Signs of over dependence include:• Abandoning our needs to please or rescue others• Experiencing disagreement as dangerous• Collapsing identity into one relationship• Confusing approval with love• Losing sight of…
Read MoreSelf-Compassion as a Path Home to Belonging
One of the great benefits of helping other people heal is that I get to witness the potency of compassion. A person shared with me a moment that had haunted her for decades. It was a circumstance where she not able to help a vulnerable person she loved. Since trauma is not in the event, it…
Read MoreHow I Received My Name Landsong and My Call to Mount Shasta
When I was 20 years old, I sat with my knees bent up, and journal in my lap in the bed I was given at the Women’s Shelter. I had just gotten out of three months of inpatient trauma treatment, and now I was starting my life over on the West Coast in Seattle. My…
Read MoreProfound Connection on second return to Zimbabwe
This post is from 2019 second return trip People are arriving, goat meat is being cooked in a huge metal pot over a wood fire, and men are warming the drums by another fire. John goes over and greets the men and they offer that he can try out the drums. Everyone…
Read MoreBook Excerpt: During My NDE A Being Shows Me the Ways All Of Life is Gracefully Linked Together
In the center of an open space of short grass I am so surprised to see a man who looks like a king. He has no crown but when I look at him I think of royalty even though he is dressed like a shepherd. His coat is not fancy or jeweled. It goes to…
Read MoreCreate Belonging
Giving and receiving help, including others, and honoring yourself are ways to create belonging. Creating belonging is an antidote to alienation. What are the ways we can share our unique gifts unsparingly, while calling out the gifts of others?An excerpt from my book when I first arrived to the village that took me in: “A…
Read MoreWe found the location of my first village!
A second miracle has taken place. Yesterday we (John my husband, Vanessa our host, Future an area game scout and our fabulous translator, and Maemu) found the location of my first village from 40 years ago. My friend Brianna helped me find words for what took place inside me with this quote. “We need to be…
Read MoreMaemu and Robin Reunited !
This post is from 2017 on the first Return trip. From John: One of the most amazing moments of my life happened two days ago. While on the way to our stay at a Farm on the Limpopo River, we were approaching the lands where Robin lived when was at 8 years old. We had…
Read MoreWe have arrived in Zimbabwe
April 21 – We arrived in Zimbabwe yesterday. After extremely little sleep during the 3 days of travel I am glad to say we finally slept last night. We can think and speak clearly again. Logistics have gone well, all our bags arrived, and getting Visas to come into Zimbabwe all went smoothly. We planned several…
Read More